Well, it's been nearly 6 years since I've posted a blog! So much has happened in that time including the birth of our second son. Even though I don't update this site anymore, Henry deserves a spot in this series!
April 9, 2021
I’ve been meaning to document Henry’s birth story all these years but haven’t prioritized it till now. Part of the reason was that it wasn’t dramatic or very eventful the way Hunter’s was, so it felt like less of a “story” to tell. However, it’s OUR story - Henry’s and mine. And I’ve come to realize that a “birth story” can be so much more than just how a person enters the world. No one’s story is exactly like someone else’s, and each one is special in its own way. It’s like the perspective of being a labor and delivery nurse in regards to the question of “do births become less special when you’ve seen so many of them?”. Not at all, because even after seeing hundreds of other babies be born, it’s THAT baby’s first and only birth. There’s nothing more unique than that! So, here is the story of how Henry came to be.
Fortunately, I had no more pregnancy complications after that. Unlike with Hunter when we waited till the 20 week ultrasound to find out the gender, we opted for the 14 week bloodwork to rule out any genetic abnormalities and to find out the gender. We didn’t want any more surprises! To receive the news, we gave the concealed results to Laura who made a cupcake filled with pink or blue frosting. Then we gave it to Hunter to smash and eat. Of course, he was covered in blue frosting by the time he finished. It’s funny…after the scary complication when I though I lost him at one point, I didn’t care one bit about if it was a boy or a girl. I was just so thankful that he was ok. Yet, I still felt the slightest pang of disappointment when I saw blue instead of pink. It was very short lived, though, as I envisioned a brother for Hunter and was so excited to give him a life-long best friend (not that a sister couldn’t have been his best friend, but I felt there was something special about raising brothers, and boy was I right [pun intended]!)
The months flew by, and soon, we were officially making plans to bring Henry into the world, and I was faced with a decision: schedule a repeat c-section or attempt a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). I longed for that vaginal birthing experience I had dreamed of my whole life, but the thought of going through another traumatizing experience (trying unsuccessfully to push a 9 pound 4 ounce baby out of my narrow pelvis for 3.5 hours resulting in a c-section [you can read the full story in my previous post]) had me hesitating (not to mention the added risks of things like uterine rupture with a VBAC). After a lot of prayer and research, I had decided that if I went into labor naturally before the scheduled surgery, I would go for it. I wasn’t too hopeful, though, since Hunter was born a week overdue. Also, at his 38 week growth scan, Henry was already measuring 8 pounds. Those predictors are not always accurate, but it did lead me to move up his c-section date from the 13th to the 9th. At the end of the day, I just wanted my boy safely in my arms no matter the method.
As it turned out, no spontaneous labor for me. The night before the surgery, I put Hunter to bed as an only child for the last time and left him in the trusting care of my parents who came into town a few days prior. Cory and I stayed the night at a hotel near the hospital in Fort Atkinson, Wisconsin since I had to be there at 5am and it was a 45 minute drive from home. The morning of April 9th was rainy and chilly but beautiful. I was 39 weeks and 5 days. We arrived at the hospital and seamlessly went through the routine of prepping for surgery.
Even though I had been through this before and had been a part of numerous normal uncomplicated c-sections, I couldn’t help but feel anxious as I laid on the OR table exposed and helpless while the medical team worked around me. My eyes filled with tears of sadness as I released the hope of ever getting to have the birth I had envisioned. Cory was by my side and started to play the birth playlist I had prepared on my phone. The song that played in that moment was “The Blessing” by Elevation Worship (this version was by Will Morrison on Spotify). The beautiful acoustic melody and the scripture based lyrics were exactly what I needed to hear: ”The Lord bless you and keep you, make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord turn His face toward you, and give you peace.” My tears turned to tears of gratitude as that peace washed over me, and it perfectly depicted the desires of my heart for this baby.
Henry Robert (named after Cory’s grandpa Bob that had passed away the year before) was officially born at 7:45 am, and a song by Sara Groves was playing: “You may lose your baby teeth. At times, you’ll lose your faith in me. You may lose a lot of things, but you cannot lose my love.” To this day, it’s one of my favorite songs to sing to him (He calls it “the baby teeth song” and thinks that line is hilarious). He was 8lbs 5oz and absolutely perfect. I was able to hold him right against my skin within minutes. He looked just like Hunter to Cory and me at first. The rest of the surgery was quick and uneventful. Once we were in the recovery room, I was able to nurse him and snuggle him, and we couldn’t believe that we could lay him down in the bassinet without him crying or fussing (very different from his brother!).
My recovery overall was uncomplicated, but it did feel more painful this time around. I wasn’t as sleep deprived as I was with Hunter, but it was still so hard for me to sleep in that hospital bed. Due to COVID restrictions, I wasn’t able to have any visitors during our stay. It was nice to have so much rest and bonding time with just Cory and me and Henry, but after two days of being cooped up there, I was SO ready to go home! With Hunter, we had to stay 4 days once he was born since he kept losing weight and my milk supply had not come in yet. Even nursing was going much better with Henry, we were still in the same situation. Thankfully, since I had walked that road before and knew what to monitor him for as a mother-baby nurse, they allowed us to take him home where we would supplement with formula and bring him back the next day to be checked out. Supplementing with Hunter was a source of shame in the early days with him since I put so much pressure on myself to breastfeed, but I felt totally confident with Henry knowing that I was doing a good thing for my baby, and I would still be able to exclusively breastfeed after we got past those first few weeks. What a difference prior experience makes! All in all, I was able to nurse him for nearly 3 years. I was planning to wean him when he turned 3, but chemo cut that short by a few months. Still, I’m so grateful that our breastfeeding journey lasted as long as it did. I’ll always cherish that privilege.
Arriving home with him was probably the most joyous occasion of my life. Cory and I were greeted by Hunter with such enthusiasm, and he was so excited to see his baby brother. He immediately asked to kiss him, and he happily sat in Cory’s lap to hold him. He just kept kissing him and pointing out the animals on his outfit. He transitioned so well and was sharing all of his dinosaur toys with him within a few weeks. That time during maternity leave was not without its growing pains and adjustments in our marriage to being a family of four, but it was such a blissful time overall. Our Henry has brought so much joy and laughter and chaos and sweetness to our lives over the past 4 years. It’s impossible to put into words how loved and valued he is, and I hope he always knows that!
Comments
Post a Comment